High-Fives and Habitual Encouragement

(aka: Why You Should Cheer People On Even When They Miss the Shot)

Sports are a big part of our lives: volleyball, basketball, track. Depending on how you count it, we have a few “offseasons,” but they usually last about two weeks before someone’s back in the gym or on the field. Sometimes we even overlap seasons. Right now, both of our kids are running high school track, and our son is also deep into AAU basketball. That means weekends full of long car rides, hotel coffee, and strategic snack packing. And yes, bleacher butt is real.

At a basketball tournament last weekend, I noticed something I’ve seen hundreds of times over the years but hadn’t really paid attention to. During warmups, every player high-fives the next guy as he loops back into line. No one says, “Hey, remember to high-five.” It’s just what they do. A rhythm. A habit. A culture.

And it doesn’t stop there. Throughout the game, high-fives happen constantly. After a made shot? Of course. But also after a great pass, a defensive stop, a hustle play, or even - most importantly - after a missed opportunity. It’s not performative. It’s not even about the scoreboard. It’s a quiet, consistent message: I see you. Keep going.

That unspoken rhythm stuck with me. Because while it’s second nature for athletes, I wonder how often we carry that kind of habitual encouragement into our daily lives.

What are the ways I’m offering those kinds of high-fives to my team, my clients, my family? Not the once-a-year performance review version. Not the "Congratulations on the big milestone!" version. I mean the everyday, in-the-moment kind. The kind that says, you’re not alone in this.

In the world of work, especially small business work, it’s easy to fall into the trap of only speaking up when something is wrong. We forget that encouragement isn’t a luxury. It’s part of the glue that holds teams together. And the best part? It doesn’t require a meeting invite, a budget, or a PowerPoint. It just takes intention.

It’s noticing when someone quietly stepped up to cover a shift. It’s thanking your office manager for keeping the wheels turning when the week gets chaotic. It’s a “great job leading that meeting” or “you handled that client situation with a lot of grace.” Sometimes it’s just sitting next to someone after a rough day and saying, “I’ve had those days too.”

Here’s the thing: encouragement doesn’t need to be eloquent to be effective. It just needs to be consistent. Like those high-fives - automatic, genuine, and part of the rhythm.

And honestly, it goes both ways. When we practice encouragement regularly, we don’t just lift others up, we shift our own posture too. We become more aware, more generous, more grounded in what’s working, not just what needs fixing.

Because this is how we develop the good stuff. Not all at once, not just in the big moments, but in the small, steady ones that tell people they matter.

So whether you’re in the bleachers, the boardroom, or somewhere in between, here’s your reminder. Encouragement is free, easy to give, and deeply needed. Especially the kind that happens in the in-between moments.

Keep your eyes up. Keep cheering people on. And keep those high-fives coming, even when it’s just Tuesday.